water baptism

the day b4 my baptism, i couldnt sleep.. i felt fear,excited, hapi, and all sort feelings in me . i alws wanted to baptist b4, but due to pj church's rule that below 21,u need parents's agreement for baptism. my parents are pre-believers.( meaning not christians yet ) so i wait til i am 21.

baptism is like a wedding. it means a lot to me. it is a public announcement that i am truly belong to Jesus. as wedding means u and the other person become one. so i declared to the world, Jesus live in me and i live in Him.


baptism meaning:

1. is a obedience act to God as Jesus also baptised

2. a public announcement

3. when u immerse into the water,it carry the meaning of u died with Jesus & buried then when u come out of the water means u r risen. so it means the old life of yours are gone and new life with Jesus begin. ( my life change almost 180 degree since i found Him . i will write the story one day in my blog)



on that day-27/06/09, my sister, my younger bro, sis lydia, cherie, nicholas, isaac, jeremy witness my baptism. i am so grateful that they were there especially my sis and bro as i never thought they will wan to come all the way from pj to kajang for my baptism. pastor Benard ( i hope i spell correctly his name ) was the pastor who baptised me in the name of the Father, in the name of Jesus and in the name of the Holy Spirit. i thanks God for him. i was the only one being baptised that day. i reli hope my elder bro and my parents will attend to witness but my elder bro cant turn up for some reason and i dint tell my parents bout my baptism as i know that they will object to it ( as they think if i did, my love to them will change so i wan to show them thru my action that i will not change even after my baptism. i will still care for them).

so now i have a "wedding ring " and i wan to commit my life to Him forever. ( water baptism is like a wedding ring.it is a commiment i make& a reminder to me just like wedding ring remind me of my husband. )

i need to wait

my heart tells me to confess to him but my mind tells me not to...



i have this fight in me during most of my free times and my exam period ( is tough to study when my head is thinkin bout this).



the reasons that my feeling tells me to confess are:

1.i afraid that if i don tell, i feel that i might be missing somthing or i will reget later if i don tell him.

2.i wan him to respon to me, to know whether did he like me or not. if he tells no, then i will b "sei sum". i will have reason to not think bout him any longer.



reasons that my mind gave me :

1.not ready for a relationship

2.i know that he din like me as i give him hits indirectly that i like him so wat is the point of confess ? to let him hurt me ? NO way...

3.i don plan to get marry so soon so i shouldnt b dating now as i believe in "don start dating until u r plan to get marry".

4.he is not financially secure

5.i need to focus on God and study. if i have bf, 4 sure i will not have much times for God and study.

6.f he say no, then i might lose a good fren as he might avoid me.

7. there is other better guy out there. so y do i need to rush in this bgr ?

conclusion :2 vs 7 .. weak cognitive dissonance .. so i shouldnt tell him but one day, i almost wan to confess to him...how silly i m.. not a rasional person :P

in the end, i think let it goes naturally ..if he is my partner of life then somehow we will be together. but if no, then no point to start relationship with him.. i CHOOSE TO WAIT FOR THE RITE GUY :D

wonderful God

God has been so real to me recently. He speaks to me in so many ways, through bible, books, people, problems and blessing. it been quite some time that i feel so good everyday.
it really helps to say positive things to yourself though u might be in tough situations.

in the past, sometimes i feel so upset for no reason that i feel so down and all the negative thoughts start to come to my mind. then i did nothing to stop them ,i will just wait for it to pass as it happen to me every week at least once a week or i will just watch movies, read bible, listen to songs to cheer myself up. usually when i did read bible and listen to songs, it will go away for awhile but later the emotional feeling will come back again to me.. so i cry quite a number of times in a year for no reason. i thinks God has lot of my bottles of tears as the book of psalm said that He keep all my tears in bottle and it really cheer me up to think that as God is so concern about me and He is always there for me that He is able to keep my tears in bottle so i am not afraid to cry as everytime after i cry, i feel relieve as it cleanses my mind and heart.

but now, when it comes, i choose to speak positive words and promises from the bible to remind myself that i don have to let the emotional feeling take over me . they might come but it has no control over me . God has. He is control of everything and He is my God who never leave me and never fails me.

why do i need to worry ? why do i need to b sad ? No, i don have to since He always bless me:

-in my studies as God has bring people to help me and help me find resources that i need for my assignments. He always give me peace and wisdom to study and sit for the exams. He even gives me excellent results that sometimes i thinks that i dont deserve them as i am not a smart student so sometimes i am wondering whether should i tell people about my results as they will always think the reason i has good results because i am smart but when i am not. it is God's grace that i have amazing results.

- giving me a good family especially my siblings. my siblings and i are very close that we enjoy everytime we are together. my sister who is there to listen to my problems when i need her . my elder bro and younger bro who always ready to help me whenever i need their helps.

-giving wonderful friends to me during my uni life. the times in uni that i enjoy the most are being with my friends: my coursemates, collegemates, my perkeb's friends, my church's friends, and seniors who are nice to me and willing to help me and give me good advises. i really thank God for them and placing them in my path of life.

- and i believe that He will give me someone who is right for me one day as my soulmate. so i dont need to worry about bgr now..i just need to wait patiently for His divine appointment and times.

i praise God for everything. and i am so glad that i learn to deal with my emotional feeling.

testimony from sis Christina

one day, she baked radish cakes and sweet pumpkin cakes for her son's business. but it turned out disaster. the radish cakes were too salty and sweet pumpkin cakes were tasteless.. frustrated and upset, she wanted to throw them away but she think it is a waste to just throw them into the rubish bin as she spent 3 hours to bake them.

then , she remembered a pastor's speech in a camp which she went not long ago. the pastor told the people to commit everything to God, EVERYTHING . so she took a step of faith. she told her husband and son ( who are not christians yet ) that she will commit these cakes to God. she prayed to God as she believe that God said in the bible that we can move the mountain if we have the faih to say that to it and she believed that God can do all things as He fed the thousands of people with just 5 loaves and 2 fish and with plenty of baskets leftover. she prayed that God will make these cakes taste delicious that the customers like them and will even demand for more.

then at night, her son came back excitedly and told her mom that the cakes were sold out and there are customers who demand for more for the cakes. it was a miracle. God really did turned the taste of the cakes to be good that the customers like them. she was so delight though at first she was wondering whether praying to God to change the taste is like testing God. but i believe it was her faith that God was pleased that she chose to commit the cakes to God so God answered her prayer. it was a great testimony especially to her husband and her son.

it takes a step of faith to believe and trust in God in all times in any situations. praise God !! :)

my younger bro

i thank God that HE bless me with a wonderful younger brother. of cuz,i also thank Him that He gave me loving siblings.

before i believe in Christ, i had a terrible relationship with my siblings. i knew that they hated me so much that time..now wen i reflect, i feel that the old me was so annoying and one of the worst ppl. but now i have a good relationship with them, and i enjoy everytime being with them.

this time i wan to write bout my younger bro .

he is a good bro. but i am not good elder sis. sometime it seem that he is elder bro and i am his younger sis. cuz i alws need his help but he never reli need my help. and i din show a reli good example of elder sis like my elder sis. so i can say that i 70% fail as his elder sis.

he is alws ready to serve ppl. if u ask his help, he seldom wil say no unless he is busy. eg. wen i or my sis or elder bro lazy to take smtg from our room that is on first floor ,and we are relaxin in our living room, we will just ask him to go upstair to take the things for us. and he will help us take it..

he alws ready to accompany me to go somewhere if i wan to go somewhere. like go shoppin, and for movie. he just accompany me to genting last week as he knew that i desired so much to go there and i wan to go on may as i have free coupon that the due date is 31 may. but this is his exam period. suppose he need to study but he accompany me go. wat a sacrifice he make.. i did say that v don have to go since he need to study but he said is fine for him to go as his next paper is on the following week. ( he is a smart and hardworkin student , he wan to score excellent result in all paper as he wan to b a doctor. he was the best student durin his spm year in his schol)

wen we were in genting, he alws let me make decision on wat ride to take next. the moment i enjoy the most during the trip is havin him with me , sittin rides with me so his presence is my happiest gift i receive from him. ( only 2 rides that i felt excited so i not so hapi with the genting's rides but he was wit me so that is wat make me hapi and enjoy)

so overall, he is good, patient, loving, and kind bro.he is also a good lookin guy, quite popular among girls in his college. :)

wat i need to do ?

i subconsciously thinkin about relationship nowadays.i don wan to think about it but i keep thinkin about it..it disturb me so much.. my principle keep changing..i cant focus..

wen i enter uni, i don mind gettin involved in bgr but i never wan to get marry..i have no confidence in marriage for certain reasons. but i do not want get involved in sex outside marriage. i stil remember wen i read the book about waiting for ur partner of life, i love the below article -'waiting' so much. but somehow for me that time, is ok to have bf just for fun..cuz i think i will regret if i din confess to some1 i like..so don need to think bout future. who knows wat wil happen in future.

then after i go to a seminar about christian dating, i try to stick to these principles: 1. don start to date until u plan to get marry. 2. make wise decision instead of emotional one. so i decided not to get involved in bgr , i wan to focus on God and study in three years in uni.

but now, i have problems with focusin on these principles. i don know y.. but i keep thinkin bout the guy i like . i know that he dislike me. so i try to avoid him but i will see him at least once a week. so i din know wat to do...yet i stil don wan to get involved in bgr...mayb cuz i don trust that bgr in uni will last til forever . as most of the guys in uni are not mature and r not financially stable at all. and most of us will change after graduating..

i reli hope i can forget that guy asap and focus on God and study.

waiting

i heard of a story about a guy who is 18 ,brought a waiting ring.these are his thought-

At the moment I am trying to buy a "wait for me " ring.I want it so badly because I got this amazing picture in my head one night in church,and I am going to try my hardest to make it come true.I was picturing my wedding day.Imagine how great it would be if I wore the ring from now until that day.My wife and I look at each other,dedicate our lives to each other,exchange vow,and then we exchange rings.When she looks down at my hand,I want her to see the ring,the ring that states that I 've waited my whole life just for her ,and then she takes that ring off and replaces it with new one,one that shows that I no longer have to wait ..that she is here.I think that will be one of the most beautiful pictures in my entire life.This is the God-intended dream that can actually come true.

when i read these,I was so touched..i wonder how many guys will have these thought.how i hope my future husband will do so, that both of us will keep ourself pure and free from sexual sins,we will wait for each other until the day that God puts us together.