a test of faith

it been half a year since i last wrote my blog.. i alws wanted to write it but ended up each time, i just stop..but i will like to write down about 2day's incident

2day, i woke up early to fetch my mom to do visa (she is goin india on may to visit my bro). on the way driving down to pj, my mom asked me wat time i m going out 2moro as she wanted to know if i can fetch her to work at 6pm 2moro so i told i not sure but deep in my heart, i don dare to tell her that i wan to go church 2moro ..then a little while, i took the courage to tell her that i m going to church b4 i go have dinner with my frens.....silent in the car... her face turn black.. she start saying she regretted that she gave me the car to drive as i go church so frequent and other things....she say tomoro, if i wan to go there, i take ktm back to ukm.. so i say i m ok , i don mind taking ktm.. then she say that i only care Father as i spent so much times in church every week and she say, i don care much for her as sometimes she asked me 2 do works in house then i din do them which sometime i reli forget or i tot it can be done later..it make me feel so bad that i din do that littlle things for her..i try to be a obedient daughter ..i know i m not a very obedient daughter but i reli try to behave 1 as there r times which i don feel like doin the things for her as i felt it is not necessary but i do it anyway cuz i don wan her say i m being disobedient as now i m christian... yet she know that i changed a lot after i accepted Jesus as my Lord from a rebelious and pamper child to a quite good child. but being good and obedient all the times is hard... sometimes i m sad, but i cant show to her so i learn to be more patient..yet it have a limit..where i wan to put God first..i know she is my mom (and my dad 2) and gave birth to me and care for me so i reli love her but God created me and the reason i m still alive to this day is becuz of Him.

ok.continue the story, so i told her that i love her and dad too, not only my Father...and i also told her that my Father/God reli took care of me...she say that she is anti-Christ and she is very upset that we become christians but there is ntg she can do as we all grown up.. then i plan to tell her my testimony of how i became a christian so i send msg to my frens to pray for me ..as i don know how to tell in hokkien.. then later she also upset that i gave money to the church..back home, after both of us rest (and after i pray to God for courage, wisdom, Holy Spirit to guide me and i believe this is test that i need to go thru with God b4 i go 2 next level of my christian life as i know the devil alws wan to pull me down and give up but i refused to turn my back on God, my Father in Heaven but stay firm on Him ), i came to my mom..i told her that i wan to tell her my testimony, not the gospel.but she refused to listen.she say she is not interested to know...it break my heart but i told her again, "Mom, don u wan to understand more of ur daughter so i need to tell u the story..it is not my cousin who brought us to Christ but is becuz of a smtg happenned so i became 1......" she refused..so i just accompany her in living room while she watch her hokkien drama..and later at nite, i ate supper with her..she told me that i can drive to ukm..i know she is still upset but she felt happy that i did keep her accompany almost the whole day 2day.

i know this is not the end but a starting of the test of my faith..i will pray and wait..to tell her one day to tell her wen she is ready to listen

wat to do ?

it juz 2 weeks that i gave him my hp number...it happen too fast... is not that i dislike him but oni a little liking now.. i don wan to lose such a fren but not ready for a relationship yet.

he din confess to me directly but his actions and words sometime show that. i knew wat he wan but i juz ignore and pretend i don know... he ask me questions which i don know how to answer him..

he is good guy -that is y ppl told me not to let go if u find 1 that is good but i juz cant accept him becuz of that.. that is not me.. plus i stil have little feeling toward the previous guy as wen i c both of them.

i don know how i should treat him ...

prayer:

God, pls show me wat to do.. i know U will give me a beautiful relationship. i trust in U to go thru this stage of life :)

ps: pls pray for me :D

a happi week

this week is the 2nd week after holiday..left 1 more 1 week of study then study break then final..i jus hate the word-final exam

but let us not talk about the sad thing.. this week is a quite a happy week..
on mon, i was feelin a little happy and excited for the mooncake feast among coursemate tomolo. not sure it will turnout well, others will be hapi, will there b enough mooncake for 45 ppl? glad that almost finish my part for test review-multifactor leadership questionnaire assignment-75% and so happi that able to go for window shoppin on sunday nite.

on tues: was happi that the mooncakes feast turnout well .lot of others r hapi. hope this will bring us closer to 1 another (chinese, malay and indian ) . but later felt upset wen my psikodrama discusion don turnout that well...and thinking of all the works need to be done.. no dinner as pusanika cafe no take order for food at 7pm-not sure y..so i wen to the mandarin cert ceremy without dinner.-oni ate a small piece of bread later on.while waiting b4 i wen to the ceremony, felt bored-no 1 to talk..suddenly thought of my sis. wan to chat with her but she no reply me..the upset feeling increase..so i sms my fren to talk about it.. she encourage me to search God..then wen after a while, i felt that i am so self-center..there is so many ppl around me that i should show my concerns , shouldnt just upset becuz of tiny matter.. i ask God to help me to show love to others. felt a lttle gulity that i was no showin much appreciation to the mandarin tutors and wan lin..in the ceremony.. in the end, i m glad that i join the clases. reli thanks them.

on wed-able to go nite market with siew chee and en wan. i din ate much as i felt that my body is 'heated' so cant eat much fried foods. much sure was amaze that they 2 ate so much.. hapi and enjoy the outing together with them except the waiting train for so long..

on thurs- felt a little woory about my foster mom and cousin..smtg happen between them.. i couldnt do much but just to pray that God will help them. then i wen to "coffee day" organize by perkeb.. it is 1 time event for perkeb where we will give drinks and snack to the parkguards of ukm to thanks them for everything they done for ukm. they seems happi and suprised.. ben wen around the campus to look for the parkguard.. wen we don need them , we will c them everywhere but wen we wan to c them , is so hard to find them. lol.. anyway, able to find some of them and give them.. ;)

on fri- able to discuss about the psikodrama and finish all my assignments..so happi.. felt release but i need to do the editing part for 3 assignment.. now waiting for my groupmates to give their parts to me.. juz hope that there will not be much trouble in that part.. later will go for cg- christian gathering. hope it will be a great dinner with them and sharing God's words.

able to see a light ahead in the midst of grayness

i was so down the whole last 2 weeks..din know y suddenly got so many problems happen in my life..but this week, i start to understand everythin i don understand and God has been answerin my few prayer requests...

-i find out that i don reli like the guy-Mr. A but i am waiting for some1 who will love me as i love him...who will support me wen i m down...who has the same vision as i do.. who will wait for me ... i have fall in love with this person even though i don know who is he but i am sure he wil appear wen the time come.. i need to wait for him..i m glad that i able to let go of Mr. A now.. i can focus on the things i need to do.. yeah..

- so glad that my fren is able to go church in pj.as previously she din not wan to go as no1 accompany her..( i was sad becuz of this) but now was happy so i thank God for Christine for accompany her.

- my assignments able to finish 1 by 1.. amazingly that i able to finish them durin my emotional period.. God had helped me to get the info that i need

- thank God for the frens that He puts in my life as they encourage me directly or indirectly( especially sis lydia, esther, adeline, cherie, oluchi, amanda, tsu yene, soo yieng, kar wai, en wan, wan lin, kelly, ice, isaac, ben, and all my frens)

-so glad that the prayer meeting among my coursemates is stil on every week as it encourage me and so happy that we are able to gather to pray for our frens.

in fear....

i am afraid....
no idea wat cause my fear...
is it because of my assignments ? i don think so..though the last sat, i was stres so i decided to go down to stayover at my sis's house...i had so much fun with her and i manage to finish 80% of my group assignment for positive. as for midexam, i not so worry cuz i trust in God that He will help me thru it...

is it becuz of my elder bro ? i don know...today, i had lunch with him and his gf.. i was so upset that he reli change ad...it is seem that he no longer believe in miracle, in God...

is it becuz of my younger bro ? he wanted to study medicine in India...financial problem...i pray that God will provide for him...

is it becuz of my feelin toward that guy ? i don understand y he treat me so nice yet he don like me ? it make me hate him sometimes..

fear becuz too many burdens upon me ?

prayer : God, I pray that U take the burden away..i trade with U... U give me peace and i give u all my burdens of the works, family..
God, pls give me peace to face the world.. U never leave me in the past..i believe in Your promises in bible for U never lie..that U will guide me as i continue on my journey here on earth. in the name of JeSus Christ i pray , Amen.

F.I.S.H

7/8- ASSEMBLY OF GOD had a welcoming party for juniors in ukm but it turned out that only 3 came...out of 30smtg ppl. however, all who came to the party had a great time and enjoyed the FREE meal.. :P

i was so hapi that so many turned out on that day and SUPER HAPI that my coursemates, en wan, siew chee, kelly, mei wen and kelly's fren, kim came to the party. at first, i tot they wont come so i keep praying to God that they will come and they did came.. i also hope others like wan lin and qin yi will turn out but seem like they were busy that day..btw, thanks to all who came.

these are the photos..

LET THE PARTY BEGIN~>
register... games


ROSE & JACK
MAKAN !!!


MIME: WHO AM I
MUSIC

2 BIRTHDAY GIRLS!!


1,2,3..POSE..

water baptism

the day b4 my baptism, i couldnt sleep.. i felt fear,excited, hapi, and all sort feelings in me . i alws wanted to baptist b4, but due to pj church's rule that below 21,u need parents's agreement for baptism. my parents are pre-believers.( meaning not christians yet ) so i wait til i am 21.

baptism is like a wedding. it means a lot to me. it is a public announcement that i am truly belong to Jesus. as wedding means u and the other person become one. so i declared to the world, Jesus live in me and i live in Him.


baptism meaning:

1. is a obedience act to God as Jesus also baptised

2. a public announcement

3. when u immerse into the water,it carry the meaning of u died with Jesus & buried then when u come out of the water means u r risen. so it means the old life of yours are gone and new life with Jesus begin. ( my life change almost 180 degree since i found Him . i will write the story one day in my blog)



on that day-27/06/09, my sister, my younger bro, sis lydia, cherie, nicholas, isaac, jeremy witness my baptism. i am so grateful that they were there especially my sis and bro as i never thought they will wan to come all the way from pj to kajang for my baptism. pastor Benard ( i hope i spell correctly his name ) was the pastor who baptised me in the name of the Father, in the name of Jesus and in the name of the Holy Spirit. i thanks God for him. i was the only one being baptised that day. i reli hope my elder bro and my parents will attend to witness but my elder bro cant turn up for some reason and i dint tell my parents bout my baptism as i know that they will object to it ( as they think if i did, my love to them will change so i wan to show them thru my action that i will not change even after my baptism. i will still care for them).

so now i have a "wedding ring " and i wan to commit my life to Him forever. ( water baptism is like a wedding ring.it is a commiment i make& a reminder to me just like wedding ring remind me of my husband. )